Recently a pregnant momma asked me, a proud, 2-time C-section momma: If we have to schedule a C-section, any suggestions to mentally prepare? It seems like it would be so surreal to just feel totally normal – and then pop in for surgery and get a baby!

(As if you feel “normal” walking around with a baby kicking the bejesus out of your bladder.)

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Is a C-section in your future?

Here are 10 things you probably didn’t know about having one – planned or otherwise.

View this as your list of “talking points” – of things to cover with your doctor/birthing center/labor & delivery nurse/midwife/doula/partner so you feel good about what you will (or might) be walking into…

1. The surgery doesn’t totally suck

(Unless it totally sucks. In which case, blessings to you.)

I’m talking about your run-of-the-mill, ho hum, get ‘er done, planned C-section. Or a semi-emergency one, where you were going for delivery via the vajayjay and you stop progressing and your doctor is getting antsy because you’ve been pushing for 44 hours and baby is wondering why she can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

You’ll get an epidural in your back to numb your tummy where all the action’s gonna happen. You’ll be awake during the surgery so you can meet baby as soon as your doc pulls the little beauty out. You may feel a slight tugging sensation when they are “working” on you, but the pain should be minimal.

My hands shook a ton, not because I was scared, but because it’s apparently a side effect from the cocktail of drugs and fluids pumping into my veins. Luckily, #RockStarDad held my hand and talked to me the entire time, keeping me calm. His first act of transforming into a father.

It may have also helped that the surgical team sang and danced to “Red Solo Cup.”

2. You get to kick people out of your life the room

There will be LOTS of people in the OR with you: doctors, nurses, pediatric care people, anesthesiologists/drug dealers, and maybe an intern or two. But as far as nosy neighbors or overly-excited family members go, they won’t be. It’s just you, PLUS ONE. The question is: who will be your “plus one?”

I chose my husband. (See hand-holding, love-support above.)

3. It’s a super-fast procedure

The entire thing takes, like, 15 minutes. The prep is longer than the C-section. For baby #1, surgery started at 9:00am and he was born at 9:09am! WOW!!

Speaking of prep, I was terrified before my first C-section. Hospital staff made this worse because they separated me from my “plus one.” I think because they ask questions about spousal abuse and want to make sure you feel safe answering. With baby #2, a semi-emergency C-section, this didn’t happen. It was all hands on deck, we’re going into the OR STAT! I guess they don’t care about domestic issues if you have a vaginal birth? Anyway, I would’ve liked to have had my hubby around during the prep to steady me.

Ladies, definitely ask about the prep protocol and how they can make you the most comfortable before the big event.

4. Skin-to-skin is divine

DEMAND that you hold baby AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. As in as soon as the cord is cut – or not cut. Or as soon as baby is wiped down – or not wiped down. Or as soon as they measure all of baby’s vitals to get her Apgar score. Your PLUS ONE may need to help you hold baby close (because: shaking arms). It is so, so worth it.

And let your “plus one” in on the fun… Pack your hospital bag with a sweatshirt that zips up the front for them to wear under their surgery gown – sans t-shirt. They will cherish this moment forever.

With each of my boys, when the nurse placed him on my chest, he turned his tiny, minutes-old head towards me. In response to my voice. That he had heard in utero for 9 months. Amazing. I can’t even.

5. Baby can skip the eye ointment – MAYBE!

This is definitely one of those conversations to have with your OB. Because the abuse of antibiotics is on the rise. And over-used antibiotics lead to decreased effectiveness of antibiotics and stronger, drug-resistent bugs.

After baby is born, the nurses will give her the royal treatment of a vitamin K shot (SUPER IMPORTANT!!) – and erythromycin ointment to protect her from getting an eye infection. Which is usually caused by STDs that pass from momma to baby via the birth canal.

I don’t know why they give the ointment to C-section babies, especially a planned section where baby never gets anywhere near “the exit.” I also don’t know why they give it to babies whose mothers are STD-free. (This is the reason your OB tests you for that stuff, not to pry into your bizarre sex life.)

I’m guessing it’s easier on medical staff to take the one-size-fits-all approach. If the nurse ALWAYS swabs ALL babies, she won’t forget to swab a baby whose mom is gonorrhea-positive. Or the baby of the unlucky lady whose jerk-ass man decided to get a little nookie on the side and brought home a nasty VD (after the OB declared that momma free and clear). Um, there’s a great excuse to skip pregnancy sex!

There’s also the possibility of eye infection from staph and strep. So tons of reasons to go ahead and swab all the babies.

Anyway, talk with your doctor about this.

In case you missed it, I did say that the vitamin K shot is SUPER IMPORTANT!! It helps with blood clotting. Do not be a crunchy, hippy chick about this. Regardless of your decision on erythromycin (blessed by your OB):

BABY NEEDS VITAMIN K!!

6. Recovery has its benefits

Healing from major surgery is a great excuse for you to ONLY focus on baby. Everyone else gets to make your meals and clean your house and do your laundry and write your bills and water your plants and walk your dog and wash your car. You * Sorry, doctor’s orders! * can’t drive for 2 weeks, can’t have sex (as if!), can’t lift anything bigger than baby. In other words, you gotta take things easy so your incision won’t rupture. (Y’all, that actually happened to a friend of mine.)

Dude, put your feet up and spend life snuggling with newbie. And think about getting a fancy abdominal binder to support your incision. Also, it’s hard to get in and out of bed to feed baby at night, so keep a step stool handy or consider getting a co-sleeper for the bed (or #RockStarDad can be in charge of night feedings!)

Speaking of driving, you’ll be “invited” to bring baby to the pediatrician’s office. A LOT. Make sure you’ve got a non-speed-demon-chauffeur to drive you guys around town. And you’ll want to cover your eyes in the car. Because your neighbor’s friendly Subaru will suddenly resemble a nuclear missile hurtling your way. Go ahead and sit in the backseat to whisper sweet nothings to the newest love of your life – instead of steeling yourself against the crazy on the streets.

7. Your body wants to heal

Help a girl out and take a light walk every day to encourage healing (and to lose the baby weight – woot woot!) Bring baby along, or pass baby over to another grown up for some YOU TIME. Take these strolls slow at first and use the time to reflect on this journey you’ve begun – or to check out what the neighbors are grilling up next door.

And walking helps you manage through some of the post-delivery pain. It’s a good, physical distraction from the discomfort.

For pain relief, boring ole Ibuprofen also helps. Try taking 600 to 800 milligrams of it every 6 to 8 hours. This requires a little math: buy the 200mg bottle and take 3 pills for the 600mg dose or 4 pills for 800mg. If this doesn’t work, you can always step it up to Percocet – with its Heroin-like, addictive issues. (You can read how I arm-wrestled the medical staff for some Ibuprofen – in this post.)

Another thing you should know about how your body’s gonna heal is this:

There will be blood.

I was kinda surprised by the vastness of (lochia) blood that leaked from my body for WEEKS after my C-section. I assumed that since I didn’t deliver vaginally, my doctor sucked up all the blood and afterbirth and gunk with a vacuum or something before she stapled me shut. Um, no. There will be blood. Buckets of it. Like your period on steroids – plus the joy of cramps from your uterus contracting back down to size. And there will be chafing from having to wear a pad DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY.

To guard against chafing, wear a soft, cotton burp cloth down there, instead of a pad. You will get MILLIONS of burp cloths. Your babe won’t notice if you steal one – or 7 – to use as “momma cloth.” Pros: WASHABLE! CHEAP! Cons: it’s gross?

Ok, if you can’t fathom that, other mommas tell me Poise pads (overnight, extra absorbency) are a super comfortable alternative.

Whatever you pick, DO NOT use a tampon or menstrual cup. DO NOT insert anything into your “hooha” – it can cause infection. And now is definitely not the time to think about vajazzling it.

8. Peeing kinda sucks

I didn’t realize this was actually a thing. I thought it was just me. Until I started noticing the threads about peeing post-C-section in the mom Facebook groups I follow.

Maybe you’ll get lucky and won’t have this issue. But I’ll fill you in anyway.

You’ll notice you need to pee. So you’ll sit on the toilet and nothing will happen. So you’ll do the pregnancy-pee-lean where your OB told you to lean forward to smash the bejesus out of your bladder to get it to cooperate. This will help a bit. But you’ll feel like you have more pee to offer the world, and, yet, nothing is happening. What gives? Hell if I know.

Here’s the solution: Stand up or walk around for a few minutes and try again. You might need to do this several times, like, go feed the dog or clean the bathroom in between pee episodes til you’re finally done.

It is weird. But it is real. I kid you not.

9. Pooping is hard

Nope, I’m not talking about newborn poop. Although that can make for an interesting discussion: SO MANY COLORS!

This might be a thing with vaginal birth, too, but I wouldn’t know. Anyway, your bowels get kinda pushed around during surgery and they rebel by not working for a while. Some hospitals won’t even let you leave til you get a little action down below.

To make the poop happen, drink lots of water (bonus if you plan to breastfeed!), eat tons of foods high in fiber (apples!), take a stool softener, like MiraLAX, and stock up on gas pills, like Gas-X. Walking also helps.

If you’ve got a C-section scheduled, ask your doc about taking Colace a few days beforehand to prep your system.

Oh, and I recommend indulging in a virgin Hot Toddie daily. Mix 1/2 cup prune juice + 1/2 cup apple juice and nuke it in the microwave for 2 minutes. Yummy! Prune juice for life!

10. Your body is forever changed

Sure, sure, you’ve heard people speak of the mom-bod. But this is different. Welcome to THE C-SECTION SHELF. Thanks to your scar (which hopefully your doc hid amongst your pubic hair.)

You’ll put on underwear and find that for it to fit right in the back, you gotta place it under your scar. And if you pull it over your scar (to hide all that pubic hair), your underwear will be perched on top of the C-section shelf, so high up that half of your butt is now sans undies and freezing.

It’s a trial. I promise you’ll get through it. In the meantime, check out these very sexy, post-partum underwear options. To cover both the C-section shelf and your cold bottom.

Good luck, momma! Baby will be here before you know it. And I promise, eventually, you’ll move from the surreal holy-shit-what-am-I-doing-with-a-live-baby moments to create a whole new, LOVELY normal!

For other thoughts on what it’s like to have a C-section, check out this post: The no-shame C-section. And share your thoughts below or on Facebook at MothersRest.

Photo credit: charmedstar07 from Pixabay.com

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS
Loving these tips mommas shared on Facebook.

I was gushing insane amounts of blood for 3 months straight…twins…7lbs each…one giant placenta…so a huge hole in my body. The hospital didn’t have any of the mesh panties…no pads…nothing. I was so glad I packed these super comfy pads in my suitcase!

Second the skin to skin, I had it in the OR while I was being stitched. The baby did the breast crawl in recovery and I nursed there. Demand the c-section you want!

Steal all the mesh undies you can. Those things are the best for a c-section.

In regard to pooping, I got my best advice from a friend. Walk as soon as possible and have a glass of prune juice each morning!

I used an enema the day after I got home from the hospital. I wanted to prevent a big problem and I didn’t even want to try to “push” out three days worth of poop! It was WAY easier than worrying about splitting my incision. And it worked like a charm.

If the nurse offers a suppository to get things moving, take it!

This is more for comfort after, but following my c-section, for several weeks I held a thick, fluffy pillow close over my tummy. It helped with support when I held the baby, and brought me a bit of comfort that I wasn’t going to get knocked/bumped.

You might throw up! Between the spinal and then jumbling your guts around things might come up…. Literally. With my second, I threw up and itched my face like crazy!!! Benadryl was my friend. She was so far under my ribs that it feels good when they took her out but getting her out was uncomfortable and made me hurl.

Also, learn how to arch your back like no other. They have to get that epidural in!

Magnesium will keep you regular…I didn’t know about this back then…but this stuff is awesome! I take it every morning…it’s nasty nasty tasting…but WAY better than being “contemplated.”

Don’t watch a comedy while healing. Laughing hurts. Also so does coughing and sneezing. And while you are saying “ouch” between coughs and sneezes, you’ll also pee slightly.

Wear the belly band like crazy, and the walking part does help. It’s very painful at first, but it does help with the recovery. Make sure you have someone with you the first several days or first week. It’s very difficult getting up and down.

Even though we didn’t co-sleep, I got a co-sleeper for the bed when I was alone. It was such great help! My hubby could put it on our coffee table for when I was in the living room by myself as well.

You can grieve the loss of the birth experience you wanted while still being glad you have a healthy child. If your c- section was unplanned/unwanted.

My Dr put in an external pain pump ball the delivered pain meds straight to my incision. No one else that I remember seeing had one. She’s awesome 😎. Mine lasted about 72, it made recovery so much easier. I had a baby in the NICU, maybe that’s why she gave it to me. I ❤️ her.

Staples hurt like hell. Out of 5 c-sections only one Dr used stitches. It was so much better.

So, I had no pain after my c-section. Not typical at all. But if like me you are prone to infections, ask for antibiotics, and really pay attention to the incision. I also rejected some of the sutures, and had to have more antibiotics even though I didn’t have a fever or was hot but i got a little puss-y.

Get extra ice packs, especially the soft ones.

Make sure you pat dry your incision after a shower. Also use non-scented soap when taking a shower and carefully make sure your incision is clean.

ASK FOR HELP! It’s so hard to be recovering from a major surgery and have a newborn! It’s hard having a newborn in general!

I started eating prunes daily the month before I had baby #2 and until about 6 weeks PP. I happen to enjoy them so it was my “dessert” and really helped with the constipation issue I had with #1 which was an emergency c-section.

I’ve had 5 of them… pooping hurts.. it’s going to be hard getting up and down… ask for help… don’t vacuum… ice packs help… sleep in a recliner if you have one… walk little by little… don’t overdue it.. don’t lift anything… don’t do anything for a coupple of days at least…

Any time you feel like you need to cough, sneeze or laugh hold a pillow to your stomach so it doesn’t hurt as much.

Not sure how it works at your hospital. But when I had all of mine (3), my hubby was not allowed into the or until after my spinal. I was scared to death and felt a lone. I actually befriended one of the nurses that was there holding me still so they could get the spinal in the right place. Try to relax and remember to let them know how you are feeling. And afterwards when you are told to get up and start walking, do it! It hurts like nothing I can describe but it helps so much!!!

I didn’t have to take but one dose of pain meds with each kid. And let people help you 🙂 Try not to laugh a lot at first – it definitely hurts!

I agree that you need to get up and move as soon as you can. It makes a huge difference with your recovery. I had mild reactions to the spinal with both of my kids – really itchy with my first and threw up a couple of times with my second. Be sure to tell the nurses how you’re feeling as soon as possible.

I disagree with parts of that article. The procedure did not seem fast either time, and I had no issues peeing.